You know how I know you’re gay?Posted: October 27, 2009
Hace un par de años, mi mejor amiga y yo empezamos, inspirados por un mail chistosón que me enviaron, la siguiente lista. Está en continua renovación. POR FAVOR siéntanse invitadísimos a colaborar.
La posteo hoy, día de nuestro aniversario, porque soy re-cursi.
You know how I –Marce- know you –Qiqs- are gay?
1. Because you know more about fashion than I do.
2. Because you could have a long, coherent, fun, interesting talk with my cousin Jessica.
3. Because your shoes always match the rest of your outfit.
4. Because your watch always matches the rest of your outfit.
5. Because your sunglasses always match the rest of your outfit.
6. Because your school bag always matches the rest of your outfit.
7. Because your socks always match the rest of your outfit.
8. Because your scarf always matches the rest of your outfit.
9. Because you have a brown leather case for your Palm. With a small mirror inside.
10. Because you keep your clothes color coded.
11. Because you give me a little “Welcome to summer” present. And it includes a cool yellow bracelet. And a make up kit. With bubble gum flavored gloss. And glitter.
12. Because you know the words gloss and glitter.
13. Because you had a crush with your male, hot, young, French teacher.
14. Because you tried to find out if he was gay.
15. Because you work for gay non-profits.
16. Because I can play Edificio with you and we both have to choose amongst the same people.
17. Because you have never wanted to kiss me.
18. Because your house looks like an interior decoration catalogue.
19. Because your favorite sports are sleeping, sex and, of course, shopping.
20. Because of your hairdo.
21. Because of that fabulous shirt you have that looks like a vest.
22. Because you wear a rainbow bracelet.
23. Because you are every chick’s best friend.
24. Because you’re closet is bigger than mine and has more shoes in it.
25. Because you are an activist in favor of gay rights.
26. Because you read a lot about gayness.
27. Because you write a lot about gayness.
28. Because your thesis is on the gay movement.
29. Because we can talk about other people for ages. About their looks and social status quo.
30. Because you send me text messages commenting on other people’s behaviors or smells.
31. Because you send me text messages commenting on other people’s irresistible looks or yumminess.
32. Because of that picture you currently have on your Messenger display.
33. Because you can tell when I worked hard on looking glamorous.
34. Because thanks to you I now use the word glamorous.
35. Because you know when all I need is a hug.
36. Because you can come to my house and wander around, go into my bedroom and bathroom, through my kitchen and books, and talk about hours about everything and nothing, all just for the sake of doing it.
37. Because when I’m with you I feel just as seductive if I am wearing pajamas and if I am in my sexiest pair of underwear.
38. Because girls do not hesitate to talk about their period, love life, sex life, diets, crushes and fashion dilemmas in front of you.
39. Because girls come to you for advice on all of the above, except their period.
40. Because you have the coolest Messenger emoticons.
41. Because you always make sure we both look our best in pictures.
42. Because you invited me to your house in Mérida, where I met your family and friends, slept in a room next to yours, and did not expect us to have sex or introduce me to your grandmother as your wife-to-be.
43. Because you wanted to name your car.
44. Because the top drawer in your bathroom cabinet has more products than my bathroom. And it is better organized.
45. Because you use the word products to refer to those items.
46. Because you wanted to pose nude for Spencer Tunick.
47. Because you expected to meet someone while being photographed by Spencer Tunick.
48. Because of all the emails you get from gay-oriented news sources.
49. Because you know all the lyrics to Rent songs. And the story behind the musical. And how and when the writer died. And paid good money to see the musical on Broadway. Twice. And own the movie DVD.
50. Because you smell nice.
51. Because you have never been to Hooters.
52. Because we both get excited when hearing Jesse & Joy’s Espacio sideral.
53. Because you’re a big fan of Will & Grace, Queer as Folk and Sex and the City.
54. Because you always carry mints, kleenex, chapstick, hand cream, mini toothbrush, mini toothpaste, mini mouthwash, toothpicks, lollipops, condoms, among various other items.
55. Because your favorite drink is apple martini.
56. Because hot exchange students ask you for your number while waiting for a sandwich at the school’s cafeteria. And your chick friends hate it.
57. Because my friend Martha wanted you to use your gaydar to identify his potentially gay cousin.
58. Because my friend Martha is a little jealous of our friendship and wants to borrow you from me. And introduce you to young, cute guys.
59. Because you have a lot of gay friends.
60. Because you get invited to a “Niñas bien” pajama party.
61. Because you tend to be flirty. Mostly with guys. Gay guys. And make out with them. At gay bars.
62. Because after you have a date you come running to my house to tell me how you bumped into your ex and how you’re terrified because you don’t know if your crush is gay or straight.
63. Because you do yoga.
64. Because you march on Gay Pride.
65. Because you wear a rainbow bracelet.
66. Because we have a song.
67. Because we celebrate our friendiversary.
68. Because you interrupt the conversation to say Buenas noches everytime a hot guy walks by.
69. Because you made me write this list.
70. Because you told me so.