20 great things about dating (and being friends with) a writer

As I have mentioned before, I rarely publish stuff by other bloggers. But every now and then I find things that are definitely worth replicating.

As a writer & dating enthusiast, I agree with most of what Kathryn Vercillo (author of Real Words) lists as good reasons to date a writer – I would argue that most of these are also reasons to be friends with one. :)

I cannot stress this enough (and I won’t even pretend to be shy/humble about it): most of what is listed is very true.

This red Moleskine is just like the one I got from Marce on my 22nd birthday :)

1. Writers will romance you with words. Dating a writer means that you will receive love letters. Quirky notes will turn up in your pockets. Flowery descriptions of everything great about you will be shared on special occasions.

2. Writers will write about you. Date a blog writer and you’ll find yourself bookmarking that blog to see if there are references to you in it. Date a poet and you will see yourself reflected back in some of the lines of poetry that the person recites at open mic nights. Your narcissistic tendencies will be happily fed when you date a writer. Of course, the drawback here is that dating a writer means that personal details about you may turn up in written form and the writer may write much less flattering things about you if you break up.

3. Writers will take you to interesting events. Writers, as a general rule, are curious people. We like to go to lots of different types of things so that we can widen the boundaries of our life experience and therefore broaden our writing. When you date a writer, you can expect to be invited to everything from burlesque shows to roller derby races to foreign countries.

4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. People who write for a living don’t do it to get rich. They know that money may matter but it’s not the most important thing in life. Dating a writer will help to remind you that it’s important to pursue your passions.

5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. Writers are big on acknowledging those who have helped them. Almost every book at the bookstore has a page for dedications and/or acknowledgments. Song writers and poets frequently include a dedication on their work. Date a writer and the world will know that you’ve supported someone in the arts.

6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. There is a writing quote about how writers taste life twice – once in the living and once in the re-telling on the page. Writers pay attention to interesting details in life so that they can recapture the world in their writing. When you date a writer, you will be privy to all of their insights about life’s events and experiences – and you may find that you get to see things in a whole new light.

7. Writers are smart. The majority of writers are intelligent people. They are usually well-read and well-educated which means they can hold their own in many types of conversations. Dating someone dumb just isn’t fun for long; dating someone smart is always an interesting challenge.

8. Writers are really passionate. Writers use all of their senses. They are passionate about their work and passionate about their lives. Your life will be enhanced by this passion for things when you date a writer.

9. Writers can think through their feelings. Writers may be really passionate but most of them don’t fly off-the-handle with emotion. They like to take time to process things. This ability is a true asset in a long-term relationship.

10. Writers enjoy their solitude. Unless you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you probably want at least some time to yourself and time to spend with your friends and family. Writers want time to be alone to write and think which means that you’ll get your own much-needed space as well.

11. Writers are creative. This sounds obvious but it has a deeper truth to it. Creative people are more capable of coming up with solutions to problems in life. Dating a writer means a chance to come up with creative solutions to life’s problems.

12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Sure this depends on the writer but most writers are pretty good at articulating what is going on with them. If they adore you, you’ll know it. If they’re mad at you, you probably won’t have to guess at why.

13. Writers will teach you cool new words. Writers love words. It can be irritating when they use ten dollar words in normal conversations but it can also be kind of fun to stretch your mind and build your vocabulary. Expect to play lots of Scrabble when dating a writer.

14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers who can set their own schedules might be willing to rearrange things to spend time with you. They might be happy to meet you for a long lunch or to spend a luxurious morning in bed with you. Don’t expect the writer you’re dating to give up all of his or her time – they have to work regularly to pay their bills just like anyone else – but do know that there are some scheduling perks possible when you date a writer.

15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. Writers are wordy and they like to express themselves. You can bask in the glow of hearing good things about yourself in ways that you’ve never heard them before. Of course, some writers will also be all too happy to tell you your faults so make sure you date a kind writer!

16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. Most writers are pretty flexible in how they communicate. They’ll be just as content to get an email from you or to chat on IM with you as they are to talk on the phone (maybe even more so). This means that however you communicate regularly is probably fine for the writer you’re dating.

17. Writers can work from anywhere. This is nice because it means that writers can happily travel with you. They may have to take a laptop and spend some time at the hotel when you go to the beach but you can enjoy much easier vacation planning with a writer than with someone who works a 9-5 job.

18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Writers have a lot of characters in their lives. If you like meeting interesting people, just plan on being the date that goes along to parties and other gatherings with a writer.

19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for. Writers are happy with little things. Most writers like getting books as gifts. Since they aren’t really into the pursuit of money, they aren’t going to be chasing you for the big bucks you spend on them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spoil a writer if you want to but you should know that they value thoughtfulness way more than most material things.

20. Writers are sexy. There is a reason that people have fantasies about the school librarian. Male or female, those bookish types are hot hot hot.


14 Comments on “20 great things about dating (and being friends with) a writer”



  2. Norma says:

    Un escritor te mandará mensajitos de celular entendibles gracias a su buen uso de la ortografía y de los signos de puntuación.

  3. Samuelito says:

    Oh, my little Enrique I am in LUST with you just for typing this shit out.
    Amen to #4 *praises the Lawd*

  4. Beto says:

    Aún cuando estoy de acuerdo con casi todo lo que dice, y que, por supuesto, me muero de ganas de tener un novio escritor, lo que no dice es que seguramente cuando la relación termine es posible que todo el mundo se entere y que, sin lugar a dudas, la versión que tendrán será la de tu novio escritor (en la que seguramente seremos unos monstruos de múltiples cabecas que hemos cercenado su capacidad para ser felices).

  5. Enrique M. Rayas says:

    Suena bastante sexy. Ya medieron ganas.

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